permanently broken

i'm always excited to see you, when i know you're gonna come over. i never told you coz it's obvious.
sometimes the fact that you can't directly tell what i feel and wants, bugs me.
am i really allowed to miss you? coz damn hell, i do.
i don't get it. you, telling me those last words bout em, pisses me off. it's like 'that' thing is a must thing you do everyday. you really should reconsider doing that. what if i was in that position where i can't not do that everyday with my 'past'. i am sure that you won't like that. i've never done that to you, so why'd you do this to me? what makes you? i never 'do' those things you do to 'that person' to my 'past' damn i hate hiding who they really are. i mean, the fact that i have to put ' ' all over. shit.

I'm sorry maybe i just can't understand you they way 'that person' does. i'm sorry that i'm not 'that' fun to talk to the way 'that person' does. i'm sorry that i'm not like 'that person'. i'm sorry that maybe you weren't happy of what i'm trying to do. i'm sorry about our last talk. i'm just really pissed about the fact that you cant let them go. it's like they are as important as i am to you. i dont like being in the same degree as them. degree as in u-know-what. here's a question for you, who is it more important to you? me or 'that person'? if 'that person is more important to you.. then let me go. i dont want any of this pain. it's better off this way. but if i'm more important than 'that person' then let 'that person' go. it's selfish of you to pick them both. so choose one of them.

i still love you, that's why i can't go on. that's why i'm missing you so much, that's why i want us back. and i'm sorry if these things i'm doing, hurts you. but don't worry, your pain is not as much as mine :) you're perfect for me without 'those' side. you're the one, and you're my only one. so please i beg you don't waste it.

be wise. being away from you hurts me more.